Catharsis

Hey

Been a long while since I have posted something in this blog. Things were a bit busy at work and at home, so wasn't able to find time to sit down and write.
In any case, I find myself at home, off work for a month due to knee surgery, so here I am.
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I think that one of the reasons why I stopped writing was because I could not think of a great topic to write about that the reader would find exciting and thought-provoking. At the start, I had these grand ideas in my head about how I am going to talk about great things about jiujitsu and maybe even do a bit of instructional (snorts!) here and there.
But obviously this blog isn't what I thought it would be and now that I think of it, I'm fine with that.
From today, I am just going to write what's on my mind, be it random silliness or something thought-provoking. No pressure, no deadlines.
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Like this blog, I started jiujitsu feeling all motivated and obsessive. New gi, new rashie, coolest gadgets, seminars, etc. But then, my motivation waned. I lost interest and it started to become a chore. I wouldn't admit it. I thought I was just being lazy. Then work got busy. My motivation and energy was refocused into something else - something I thought was more important that my hobby. There was a time when jiujitsu became a constant thing that I did thrice a week. Then I started missing classes. I tried to go back to the normal routine but then I got injured. I kind of lost steam. One injury after another left me with thoughts about the bigger picture. I can't have a debilitating injury that could affect my ability to work. There are a lot of great things about jiujitsu and doing jiujitsu but there is one thing it can't do (to me, at least), it can't provide food on the table for my family.
Don't get me wrong. I am not quitting jiujitsu. The fact is, my seven year-old daughter has been going to jiujitsu classes now for several weeks. All I'm saying is, I need to get my priorities straight. I will still do jiujitsu because it's fun and it's part of a healthier lifestyle for me. No more obsessions. From my experience, I can't have my motivation to be shooting up 100 miles an hour only to have it come crashing down like before. I want it nice and steady. No pressure. Just flowing with the go.
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